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A Mad Russian's ChristmasTrans-Siberian Orchestra
00:00 / 04:43








Ivan Kovinski












Professor Kovinski




Don "Major Deej" Finger

15 Dec 2008


Isabella Kovinski (wife, deceased)




A generous and kind man, 47 year old Ivan Kovinski has instead changed into a dark, sadistic being who's mind now believes in the 'gift' of death to any who do not follow the will of Lord Arachnid and the Arachnoknights.

At the Moscow University, Dr. Kovinski was in charge of graduate studies in Arachnology, particularly in spider behaviors and social techniques.  In his studies, he would en-group hundreds of spiders in a contained, yet natural enclosure and monitor their responses when agitated, starved or invaded upon by another species.  With over 60 students in his classes, on top of his continued published works, Dr. Kovinski was a busy man, but never busy enough to promote the one holiday period he considered the greatest ever - Christmas.

Being a VERY rare Christian in Russia, around Christmas, every year since he was 14, Dr. Kovinski would volunteer for toy drives, charities for the homeless and always promoted the "Christmas Spirit" wherever he was. He received a lot of 'blow back' from the locals for his unwelcome Christian attitude, but he slogged through their derision every year nonetheless. Every day before Christmas, his 350 lbs. body frame would dress-up as Santa and give gifts to children in hospitals and orphanages.  Although a kind and generous man, he was also exorbitantly stressed and very lonely.

One Christmas Eve in 1999, while fighting to finish compiling his year's worth of data for a state grant for the new year, hours before he was to go play Santa at a children's mental hospital, a massive superhero/super-villain battle erupted in Moscow.  Dr. Kovinski, at the time, was already dressed in his Santa costume, trying to finish his experiments before he went to give out his presents to the children at the orphanages and shelters.  As he was feverishly trying to finish his experiment of invoking agitation on his angry test-subject spiders, he tried to adjust a camera directly over the test enclosure. Thanks to the local explosions of the superhero/villain battle, Dr. Kovinski was knocked off his platform and crashed down into the spider enclosure. The spiders immediately attacked him, primarily attacking his open head wound he'd received from the broken glass and his fall.  The varying venoms, the adrenaline and electrical shocks from the ceiling's electrical cabling Dr. Kovinski was entangled with, all coalesced into a nightmarish scene; a scene that would normally lead an instant, excruciatingly painful death.

When university security found Dr. Kovinski, his body, costume and face had been blackened from burns and venom, his brain was equivalently afire with uncontrolled venom-induced neuron activity.  He was going mad...and dying.

Due to the superhero/villain battle, hundreds of innocent people were crammed into the hospitals in Moscow.  Instead, he was taken to the campus' medical facilities, where, an hour later upon his arrival there, Dr. Kovinski was pronounced dead. 

Hours later, after the paramedics took Dr. Kovinski's body to the morgue, he came back to life...only this wasn't Dr. Kovinski, but instead something dark and twisted. 


With glowing red eyes, blackened skin, and a severely damaged brain, what was once Dr. Kovinski stumbled out of the morgue and out onto the Moscow University campus. The superhero/villain battle had already subsided, and vestiges of damage and hundreds of emergency vehicles set the scene for what was to eventually be a four month cleanup. Regardless of the debris, he shuffled onto the campus grounds and went, almost through rote behavior, towards the children's orphanage he almost always went to on Christmas Day to give presents out...this time, however, he was in no condition or mind to even comprehend where he was nonetheless his previous acts of charity.

Within minutes, he shuffled into the orphanage.  When the staff saw Dr. Kovinski's condition, they attempted to guide him to a nurse's office to be looked at.  He sat down on the pathetically unsafe bed where it instantly collapsed under his weight.  When the helped to stand him back up, he thanked them and told them he had a 'goft' for each of them.  He fumbled around looking for his sack of gifts, reached into his pockets and eventually, seemingly sad, told the staff he'd have to give them a special gift instead.  He then touched each and every one of the staff, causing them to wither into blackened corpses and die before them.  This version of what was Dr. Kovisnski told them all 'Merry Arachmas! YES! Gifts for all! Gifts of death to all!'.  He then went to the children's wing and commenced imparting his 'gift' to each of them.


In the end, seven staff and 64 children were given his 'gift' of death that night.


He paused long enough to attempt to figure out where and what he was to do next and confusingly shuffled toward the homeless shelters two blocks away.  During that time, several children that escaped the 'gift of death' at the Orphanage, found the police and told them what happened. By the time the body of Dr. Kovinski arrived at the homeless shelter, the police came screeching up to him, guns drawn.


Ho-ho-hoing, this twisted Santa stated that he wanted to give gifts to his 'favorite guardians of Moscow' (a term Dr. Kovoski routinely used in describing the Moscow police). He advanced on them with outstretched arms only to receive dozens of rounds of bullets from the police weapons.  Interestingly, this twisted Santa was unharmed.  Instead, the once Dr. Kovinski scrunched his face and bellowed 'YOU ARE ALL ON MY NAUGHT LIST!!!' and fired blasts of dark, negative energy at the policemen, killing them nearly on contact.  The gunfire and dark energy attacks continued until the Russian version of a SWAT team showed up and blasted this evil Santa with a bazooka, knocking him unconscious...temporarily.

As this dark Santa was hauled away to a super-powered prison facility located outside of Moscow, the death count came in from the homeless shelter encounter: 26 policemen dead, 4 SWAT dead, and 2 innocent homeless children who wandered into the arc of fire from the police (friendly fire). All deaths were blamed on Dr. Kovinski and the public was told that he was to be placed in the 'darkest and deepest' hole, never to see the light of day ever again.

Days later, the alien Soltan Star Empire invaded Earth in January 2000.

The underground high security prison facility that held what was left of Dr. Kovinski was run from several generators above ground.  When the Soltans attacked, they immediately destroyed all power sources around the world, all of which included this prison.  As soon as power was lost, the magnetic locks on all cell doors lost their charge, letting loose some of the most dangerous and vile beings ever.  The previous Dr. Kovinnski, however, imparted his 'gift' to nearly all the escaping inmates...and guards, leaving over 100 dead...and the twisted version of Dr. Kovinski free to roam above ground.

A couple days later, while shuffling from Russia across and into Europe, the twisted Dr. Kovinski came across a battle between those known as the "Knights of Arachnos" and a large battalion of Soltan warriors. During that battle, the twisted version of Dr. Kovinski saw the spider emblems on the knights' uniforms and armor and demanded to know if they worshiped spiders as he does.  A couple of knights said, 'the only spider you need to worship is that guy over there, Arbiter Mercedes.  We call him "Lord Arachnid" as a nickname, but yah, if you're looking for the top spider, that's him!".  With that, the black suited Santa shuffled towards Arbiter Mercedes (as Mercedes was fighting off Soltans left and right), asking if he was the leader of the spiders.  Mercedes, blasting several Soltans that were about to kill this evil-looking Santa, said 'If it will either get you to fighting or to safety, then yes! I am the lead spider here! Now fight or find safety! I can't fight them and save you at the same time!"


The blackened Santa stood for a few seconds taking in Arbiter Mercedes impressed assault on the overwhelming Soltans and stated "I shall fight! I shall give them each a gift from me...their....own...Arachno Santa!  YES!!! HO HO HO!!! Marry Arachmas!  I present you with the greatest gift of all!! DEATH!!"  At this point, the 'Arachno Santa' blasted dozens of Soltans with dark energy, grabbing those Soltans near him and draining them of their lives.  Arbiter Mercedes and his fellow knights looked on in absolute amazement at the tenacity and vigor this large, creepy Santa was decimating the Soltans around them with.  After a dozen minutes of intense fighting though, it became evident that even with their Arachno Santa, they'd be overwhelmed.  Each knight fought to their last breath and/or consciousness.  When all was over, only a handful of knights remained alive, barely, one being the Arachno Santa.

The few remaining knights and the Arachno Santa were eventually healed up.  The Arachno Santa swore he'd do whatever the 'Lord of Spiders' asked him to do from that day thereafter.  Thanks to some help by a couple of surviving fortunatas (mind controllers), they were able to adjust Arachno Santa's brain damage to allow for verbal control by Arbiter Mercedes AKA Lord Arachnid.  As such, Arachno Santa didn't 'routinely' attempt to give people his 'gift of death' (although he does for those on his 'naughty list' still), but is at least controllable enough by Lord Arachnid to use as a weapon for their new order - The Arachnoknights.


Today, Arachno Santa is still a controlled asset of Lord Arachnid and the ArachnoknightsArachno Santa celebrates Christmas Day by being sent to local prisons, allowing him to kill any miscreants the locals wish to have killed wherein the justice systems won't authorize (mercy killing or murder?).  Regardless, Arachno Santa is still HIGHLY unstable and should Lord Arachnid ever lose control of him, there will be 'gifts of death' in Arachno Santa's wake.  He is still heard exclaiming in combat:

Ho Ho Ho! Merry Arachmas!

For all who do...or do not...believe in us, I present you with the greatest gift of all...DEATH!




Power Origin: Science

  • Death Touch

    • Upon tactile touch to any exposed portion of Arachno Santa's skin, Arachno Santa can emit a deadly bio-energy venom that instantaneously imparts remarkable levels of toxicity, paralysis and poison into a biological body.

    • The toxin is unresistant unless the target has protection from acids/chemicals/toxic attacks.

  • Dark Venom Blast

    • Can shoot/emit dark plasma-like negative/toxic energy blasts from his hands, inducing excellent damage per strike.

    • Can shoot from each hand only once every several seconds.

    • Range 200 yards.

    • Arachno Santa can actually control and change the path slightly of each blast, allowing for a doubled accuracy of these blasts.

  • Enhanced Physiology

    • His blackened, thickened hide acts as excellent body armor vs. physical, energy, and radiation attacks.

    • Provides for unearthly resistance to toxins, poisons, paralysis and/or biological attacks.

    • Enhanced strength to remarkable levels

    • Enhanced endurance to amazing levels

    • Vision can only see in infra-red and thermal vision bands (night vision).

    • Enhanced agility to incredible levels.

    • Due to his brain damage, he has the equivocal of fantastic mental, psionic and magical resistance. Only when he is relaxed and willing, will he let his defenses down (which he'll do on command from Lord Arachnid).

  • Dark Webbing

    • Can create an energy-like stringy material to appear under or near targets, causing the targets to be immobilized and/or held with an excellent strength for 30 seconds at a time before it dissipates.

    • Webbing will dissipate if Arachno Santa leaves the effective range area of 200 yards.



  • Body Suit

    • Provides typical protection versus physical, temperate and energy attacks.

  • Comms Device

    • Allows for encrypted transceiver communication up to 200 miles away.

  • Tracker

    • Arachno Santa was a location tracker implanted onto his body, providing sensors with a low  frequency tracking signal for a range of 20 miles (no over the horizon capabilities).

    • Battery lasts for 2 years.

  • Mechanical Spiders

    • In order to keep Arachno Santa more in control, he needed the equivocal of 'elves' to help him impart his gifts.  As such, the Arachnonights have made Arachno Santa several mechanical spiders as pets for him to verbally command. Each spider has the following capabilities:


      • Stats:

        • Armor: Excellent

        • Control: Remarkable

        • Strength: Excellent

        • Agility: Excellent

      • Can carry over 400 lbs.

      • Can perform good edged melee with sharp-ended leg swipes.

      • Can move up to 40 mph for burst of 30 seconds at a time.

      • Can leap over 50 feet in a single bound.

      • Can spin good strengthened sticky web fibers for creating web traps, lowering from a ceiling/overhead, or tie-up a hurt/damaged/poisoned target

      • Can fire typical poison blast up to 60 yards away, but can only be done once every dozen or so seconds at a time.

      • Only follows Arachno Santa, Lord Arachnid (master override), Lady Arachnida and Aracho Psyknight verbal commands.



  • Christmas Lore (a twisted version, but still relative) (Master)

  • Arachnology (when lucid: professional; when agitated/confused: barely proficient)

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